Friends!
It has been far too long since I last wrote here and shared my heart with you. So much has happened over the past little while and I have much to share. I started at my new job, recently bought a new car, and have really settled into my new career and accepted all of the rippling changes that were caused.
Because this is a forum of honesty (at least on my behalf!) I want to share with you some of what I'm struggling with. I have a terrible track record of staying consistent in my bible study and going to church every single Sunday. I know our relationship with Christ is all about choice, so I'll admit I haven't made the best ones to pursue my growth in the relationship I do have with him. However, through encouragement from my pastor and his AMAZING wife, I have come to realize how vital both parts of the equation can be. I have vowed to change this, and so when I found myself with some free time this morning before an appointment, I decided to have some quiet time with the main man in my life.
The story was about David, and how he desperately wanted to find someone in Saul's family to uplift and restore with his kingdom, in honor of his friend Jonathan. His servant suggested Saul's son Mephibosheth, who happened to be lame in his legs. David welcomed Mephibosheth to eat at his table as his son, and restored not only his name but also Saul's kingdom to him and his lineage.
Those of you who know me know I love any story of Redemption (hence my ink). What better redemption than for a man to have his shame removed and his name restored? The part of the story that brought tears to my eyes (and cheeks) was when this crippled man fell to his knees in front of David and asked why David wanted anything to do with him, who he called lower than the dogs. Can you imagine that? Beth Moore, who writes my bible study, painted a picture of the pain that it would have taken for this shamed, humiliated man to bend his broken knees and fall to the ground. And to consider himself so low that he wasn't worthy of looking at David - just because of a decision someone in his family made.
I mention this story this morning because of the truth behind this man, and what it taught me about Christ and his unending love for us, totally devoid of any requirements. The literal comparison is that no matter WHAT mistakes we made or someone made that affected us, it does not lower our worth in the slightest. Not one bit. Your parents could have done something to hurt you or change your life, a friend could have wronged you, you could have made a misstep in this journey we call life that you aren't proud of - but none of it matters, because God wants to welcome us to his table again and restore our name.
I can't think of a more wonderful way to be accepted by Christ - can you? "Hey, I know you lied/deceived/didn't give 100% of yourself on that project, but hey- it's okay! I know you, I know who you are, and I love you. Come sit with me, you're family!" To see, hear, and feel love like that... I mean how can you describe it?
I'll be honest, there are days when I feel totally ugly inside and I wonder how my family can love me. I think we're all like that sometimes, because we are not perfect people and we will make mistakes, sometimes those mistakes will hurt others and we'll be even harder on ourselves. But how about this neverending, unconditional forgiveness and acceptance that we have just waiting on us? I don't know about you, but knowing Christ loves me no matter what has saved me so many times from beating myself up.
I want to share one more piece of information from my study this morning. Mehibosheth literally translates to mean "shame destroyer" or "image breaker." His shame was broken, just like ours is and can be - do not let the fear of asking for redemption or help stop you from reaching out to God. I picture him as this loving dad waiting in a waiting room for you to say something to him that resembles and invitation or a plea and he rushes in to where you are just so he can save you. Imagine a love like that being only a call away, all the time! I'll take it!
What do I hope you take away from this? Call out. Don't be scared to call out. With every breath you take, remember who gives it to you and who wants to give you SO much more... and remind yourself that you are worth it.
Parting thought:
"I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."
Galatians 2:20
Talk soon.
