My Father's Daughter

In so many ways, I am my father's daughter.

I have my dad's nose. I have his hands. We have the same color hair - and are blessed with the same devilishly good looks (haha). We also have the same sense of humor.

I'm a lot like my mom, there is no denying that. I have her compassion to love, her desire to obey and follow Jesus Christ, and the same servant's heart.

But in so many ways, I am just like my dad.

I'm definitely a daddy's girl - I don't see what's wrong with that. I may be blessed with parents that love me and have been able to provide for me, but they also taught me to work hard, very hard, for what I have- and to never complain. One lesson my dad has taught me that has n e v e r left my heart is this: Never let yourself be the victim. Through all of my skin surgeries, the painful stitches and the aching effects of each new melanoma occurrence, you wouldn't hear me complaining and asking "why me," because I was raised better than that. And it is my dad that I owe that gratitude to.

And as much as I love him (obviously)- it's not my dad that I want to talk about today. The father I want to talk about is a little larger than life - literally. It's Jesus Christ, and today I'd love to show you the picture of him that I've grown to see over the past 24 years of my life.

I've shared with you what I've been through: divorce, deaths, cancer, the whole nine yards. And throughout all of these situations, I've come to the realization that as Christians in a dark and fallen world, we have one choice: Do we use the situation to refine and strengthen our faith - or do we allow it to pry us away from the One solution? I've chosen both options at various times and under different circumstances over my life. And I can tell you with absolute certainty that the best option is the first: trust in Him. Ask Him what He's trying to show you - and if you can't hear or see Him, ask Him to reveal Himself to you. Our God is a God who pursues, He's just waiting for you to ask Him to start the chase.

It's not an easy choice, to let go of your will for His. Trust me, I know because I've learned it. But as you let go, you really do see that God says "Hey little one, you did your part. Let me do mine." I've referenced several different stories in the Bible about obedience over the course of this "devotional," if you will. There are so many awesome parts in the Bible where God's love for us shines so brightly, my favorite being Psalm 45:11: The King is enthralled by your beauty; honor Him, for He is your Lord.

Enthralled? Do you have any idea how heavy that word is? Dictionary.com defines "enthralled" in verb form as "to captivate or charm." It means that Christ can't look away from you, His eyes never leave your sight. That doesn't just apply to women because the word "beauty" is involved, Men :)

What I like to think of is the look a new husband gives his wife when he first sees her as she walks down the aisle toward him and their new life together. Some men tear up, others smile a smile so large it takes up their entire countenance. Regardless, the scene that is so common to so many marriage ceremonies perfectly illustrates the point of what I think God does when he looks at us: he can't take his eyes away from you. He doesn't want to. And it doesn't end there.

He adores us, but He also knows life isn't always easy and fun. there are days when we get stuck down in the mud of the trenches in the battle in this life and it's all we can do to hold onto the white flag of surrender as we realize we can't do it anymore. In those times, especially in my battles and wars, I've found that God's the one holding onto us when we can't hold onto Him. He isn't some omnipotent being in the sky who looks down on us for entertainment.

If that's who He was, would he have allowed himself - and I say "allowed" because he easily could've stopped the crucifixion- to die the most painful death imaginable, reserved for the worst of criminals, just to save us when he was totally innocent? No. Would he have allowed himself to be persecuted for telling the truth, for teaching against doctrines that ruined kingdom after kingdom, dynasty after dynasty? No. Would he have bound up the brokenhearted, rescued the lost, or restored the life of the dead? No.

That's because he's not the kind of God that watches and doesn't do anything. He's a God who saves, who loves, whose heart breaks with ours when we cry wrenching sobs and wonder where he was the whole time, when the answer is clear: beside us as our heart breaks.

Many people don't agree with me because they've allowed this life to pull them away from Him. My hope and prayer is that one day, those same choices and circumstances bring them back. I say this because Jesus Christ is the only hope in this fallen world, the only one whose band-aid can piece together our broken hearts, the only one who's up for the challenge.

What do you say, are you willing to take the risk?

This is one gamble I can promise will pay off. And if you're not ready right now, He'll wait until you are.

Parting thought:

I thank God for the Unseen Hand, sometimes urging me onward, sometimes holding me back; sometimes with a caress of approval, sometimes with a stroke of reproof; sometimes correcting, sometimes comforting. My times are in his hand - Vince Havner

Talk soon.

The Simple Things

In this life, this country, there are so many negative things happening every day that it isn't difficult to lose sight of the good. In fact, it's a whole lot easier to pinpoint the bad.

But sometimes, that isn't the case. Sometimes it's overwhelming how good and fulfilling life can be if you just take time to look around you.

Tonight, I had dinner with my dad at one of my favorite restaurants (score). Over my favorite wine, and in our great conversation, I was given a gift that from this day forward I'm going to carry everywhere with me. My dad, in one of his abounding moments of encouragement, gave me this verse:

So, whatever you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God - 1 Corinthians 10:31.

That really made me think. In this time in my life I'm going through transition. A big transition, where I'm realizing the days of effortless ignorance and carefree living are limited by bills, loans, health concerns, choices about health insurance, thinking about buying a house, and a million other elements that comprise adulthood. It's unavoidable, inevitable, and annoying, but it's all a part of being a mature and responsible adult.

And as time passes with each day, I'm reminded of all of the good things in my life - which is what I want to talk about today.

I've shared before my struggle with melanoma. I just had an "in situ" mole removed with surgery, and before you go and Google that (haha), I'll go ahead and share what it means. In situ means that the cells in your skin may evolve into melanoma and invade other parts of the body- but they haven't transitioned to cancer yet. So, again, my dermatologist and team of specialists, this time a plastic surgeon, have potentially saved my life. I found out today that they did, in fact, get all of the cancerous cells out and I'm cancer f r e e for three months!!! (You should've heard me after my appointment, I was elated).

I've shared with a few people that for some reason, this surgery was the turning-point in my attitude. Melanoma is a death sentence, there's no way to beat it, you can only manage it. And since I've had it since I was 16, the attitude I adopted in the past was, well to be honest, angry. I was angry I was given a burden that heavy to bear so early in my life, when I'm in love with the outdoors and it meant I'll always have to watch what I do, always wear sunscreen... I was angry and resentful that I would have to change my life because of something that was, to a degree, a result of choices I didn't make. Sure I tanned, but melanoma can be hereditary and I couldn't have told my parents to put sunscreen on me when I was 4. So, up until a year or two ago, I still didn't wear sunscreen that often (if at all), and I was lackadaisical about the entire situation.

This surgery changed that mentality. When I looked in the mirror and saw the ugly and angry surgery site with the black stitches in my skin standing out like coal on a white snowman, my stomach sunk and it hit me that this will be my life if I don't stop what I'm doing. And that scared the crap out of me. I have more scars than I can count on my back, and very often I liken it to a battleground in this epic struggle with skin cancer. I don't really enjoy the process of adding more.

And as I sat in my room, thinking about how I want to change these habits of mine, it made me think about my life in general. The people and the situations that have made me who I am. To tell you all of my thoughts and emotions about everything would take forever, so in the interest of time I'd really like to share what's been on my heart most recently.

My family is beyond amazing. They really are. I really only can count on one hand how many people I know that have the kind of relationship with their family that I've been blessed with... we spend a lot, if not most, of our free time together because we want to, and we're always doing something fun or crazy. I live for our Sunday afternoon dinner & football game parties, and I think that the month of December is my favorite (second to October) because we have family traditions that take up every weekend. The only people who stick around in my life are the ones that have the same appreciation for them that I do - and I love this about my life.

I also have some truly spectacular friends... I don't need to name them personally (except Jennifer because she is my best). To say that my friends are loyal and encouraging would be an understatement, and it's easy to share my life with them. I know I could call any of them in the middle of the night and they'd come over, no matter the issue. That is a friend. I've always said a true friend is someone who encourages you to grow and who brings out the best in you... and I can say I'm blessed.

So, this post is in honor of you. As I think about my life and the things that mean the most to me, it becomes very simple: my favorite things are the people I love, and the God I serve. Nothing else ultimately matters anyway, and in the end the things I hold the closest to my heart are the memories I've made with the people in my life and the ways they've helped me to grow and become the woman that I've become today.

So at the risk of sounding much less emphatic and serious I am, the only words I can say are these: Thank you. For what you do, for who you are, and for what you've all brought to my life. I wouldn't be Kimberly without you!

Parting thought:

My imperfections and failures are as much a blessing from God as my successes and my talents and I lay them both at his feet - Mahatma Gandi

Talk soon.

Holding On For Dear Life

I know we've all heard this before, but in this life, "it's the simple things that mean the most."

My life is hectic, and there are always things, situations, people, obstacles revolving in and out. Nobody likes change, I think on a base level if we could stop our lives from spinning and slow them down, we would.

Unfortunately, we can't do that, so we cope and we learn to live life the best we can, a day at a time.

Sometimes, that's a little easier said than done. But the best thing that we can do is to focus on the small things that mean the most to us, the basic pleasures we derive in this life, and sometimes, everything else will stop spinning and come into focus.

Lately I've become aware that my "small things" are my family, my best friend, and my dog. Family is there for you through thick and thin, and mine is no exception. They love me even when I'm at my worst... and that, friends, is what true love and family are really about. My best friend is absolutely priceless, and she has been there for me through the past few months more than I think most people I know... living with her has really been an "iron sharpens iron" kind of friendship, and I'm beyond blessed to be able to share this season of my life with someone as amazing as she is. And my dog? well, I won't deny that she's better than any other dog in this world (need proof? See above picture).

There are days where I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders, and I've chosen at this stage in the game to rely on the One who is always faithful and never fails. I'm far, very far, from perfect. When I'm tired and hungry, I can be super grouchy. If it's a rainy day and it's cold outside, usually it's impossible to motivate me to do anything. Sometimes I can have a temper flare-up that's not very pretty. I laugh at the wrong times, sometimes I say the wrong thing and often, I think without speaking. But you know what? I know that even through those things, I'm still worth a heck of a lot.

I'm actually worth even more than just "a lot." I know in the eyes of my King, I'm priceless, and it's about time I started accepting that. God wants us to take His word seriously, because He's the only entity where we can take His word and believe Him every time. In Genesis 22:15-18, God had asked Abraham to sacrifice his son in the ultimate example of obedience. Abraham did not question God's command, and right before ending his son's life, God stopped Abraham and said this: "The angel of the Lord called to Abraham from heaven a second time and said, 'I swear by myself, declares the Lord, that because you have done this and have not withheld your son, your only son, I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as the sand on the seashore. Your descendants will take possession of the cities of their enemies, and through your offspring all nations on Earth will be blessed, because you have obeyed me." God wants us to take him at his word, that He will provide for us and give us anything and everything that we need - if only we will seek Him and honor Him.

Sometimes, on a good day, that's easy to do. We let go & let God. Other days, in other seasons of our lives, it's not as easy and we struggle to hold on by our fingernails as God takes away the very things we've tried to hold dear because they're not in His plan for us at that time in our lives.

But in time, if it's right, He will either give us those things back - or He'll give us something better. I don't know about you, but if the creator of the world and everything in it wants to give me a present that's exactly what I need, what I want, when I'm ready for it... well, I think I'll just go ahead and choose to wait on His timing.

And in the meantime, I'll hold dear to the simple things in my life that mean so much. Because ultimately, it's not about what I want for myself - it's about what God blesses me with. And here's to hoping that you learn to live day by day as I'm learning to... so far, it's been pretty good :)

Parting thought:

Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you with whatever hard things come up when the time comes - Matthew 6:34

Talk soon.