Calvary: What Does It Mean To You?

As you can tell, this Chid now has a tattoo.

"Well, tattoos aren't something Christ wants Christians to have."

"I don't think highly of girls, or even guys, with tattoos."

"Why would ANYONE get something that permanent on their body?"

Because it's my story. A lot of people instantly judge when they see someone with a tattoo, but today I show this to you to share with you my story.

The word redemption has an awesome meaning: the payment of an obligation.

When I look at the scars from my melanoma, they remind me I've fought the battle and it left its mark. But one day, as I looked in the mirror, I realized no matter how many marks and scars I have, I still win because God still has a deeper purpose for every mark, every trial, every scar. That definition of redemption means, to me, that God already paid my way into this world and He already claimed victory for me. I do not need to be scared or be fearful, it has already been done. No matter how far away I fall when I wander, I can - and do - always come home. That, friends, is what my tattoo means to me.

And as I enter into a new season in my life, I realize that that lesson is going to follow me wherever I go. Half the point of this life, I think, is to make mistakes so that we learn on our own what to - and not to- do. The meaning behind redemption is so simple and yet so beautiful. I often imagine Jesus as the shepherd, looking for the lost and bleating sheep in the middle of the storm that's stuck in the brush. He uses the crook of his staff to guide the sheep back to him and the rest of the flock.

Life's the same way. Sometimes we're safe in the pack with everyone else, but sometimes we wander away and experience pain and fear far away from the pack, unable to see on a dark and stormy night. But there shouldn't be any fear, because Christ is right behind us, coming to claim us with his authority and his power. He's always going to come after us, the choice of whether to return to him is the uncertainty. And as I said, redemption is a beautiful thing because no matter how much we mess up, how much we make error after error and mistake after mistake, how many times we defy his love - He'll still accept us back. No judgement. Total acceptance with the purest love.

If that doesn't make you breathe easier, I don't know what will. Knowing that God will love me no matter how unloveable I feel? No matter how ugly, how sinful, how much I regret and I wish to take back what I've done wrong... doesn't even matter. God died already to forgive you and I - so what we do he already knew about and he already covered it. God had your back thousands of years ago on that cross at Calvary, there's no need for YOU to beat yourself up over something he's already forgiven - and forgotten.

Steven Furtick of Elevation Church has a small speaking part on one of their worship CDs, We Are Alive. In that CD, he says this: "You serve a God, you were made by a God, no matter how far you've drifted, no matter how hard you've run, no matter how many bad alliances you've made, no matter how hopeless it seems, no matter how enslaved you are, you serve a God, a good God, who can turn your mistake into a miracle. You serve a God who can make the sun to stand still in your life."

This always gives me chills because he hits the nail on the head. That is the picture of how far God's redemption reaches. It knows no bounds, no limitations - just like the God we serve, his grace follows us wherever we go.

Easter just passed, but the victory of that day never grows old. Jesus Christ redeemed you by dying in the most painful way imaginable. He did that- for you. And when you see that cross, or think of the three of Calvary, what do you think about? All I can ever think about is the pain that he went through, at my expense, and how much he loved me to suffer that long. That's the ultimate love story. God doesn't need to give us chocolate, Tiffany's, or a bouquet of fresh tulips to show us that His love will never end and knows no bounds. It's not containable, it is immeasurable and neverending. True love gets no more pure than the ultimate sacrifice of one live for humanity - and he did it for you.

I want to leave you with a gift. And I want you to remember one thing: God meant this for you.

Life as a Christian can be painful. Nights can be full of heartache, days can be long and confusing. Sometimes my life as a Christian seems more difficult than they were when I wasn't saved. But in the same respect - my life as a Christian has been more incredibly rewarding than anything I could have ever imagined.

God has moved in my life over the past year to really teach me about obedience. Dating mistakes, a constantly changing list of priorities... he's allowed me to be disobedient until my heart broke and it hit me that I was doing it to myself. I'm far from perfect and even on my best day, I'm incredibly too hard on myself, but all the little parts of me that have broken are coming together to make me a beautiful mosaic of the woman God created me to be. My journey won't end until I take my last breath, but in this interim, I have no doubt that God has awesome plans for me. I look forward to learning how to give him the reigns - and not try to take them back. Once I can do that, or as I am learning how to, I already know he's going to move in my life in a way that overwhelms me ... and I cannot WAIT for that ride to begin! He's already done that with parts in my life before and his faithfulness and enthrallment with me is more than anything I could ever imagine.

Praise God, from whom all blessings flow... and praise Him that he loves us, even when we can't love ourselves.

Parting thought:

Every happening, great and small, is a parable whereby God speaks to us, and the art of life is to get the message - Malcom Mudderidge

Talk soon.

Christ Gave It All... All To Him I Owe

Sometimes, this road of life can be really lonely.

We can be surrounded by thousands of faces, one person in a giant massive crowd, and still feel like we're all alone. And in tough times, it can be easy to feel like that loneliness will last forever.

But in those times, it's so important to stand on the truth of what we know, what has been proven as steadfast and unchanging. Today I went to a new church (Center City Church, it was absolutely amazing!!) and the pastor said something to me that really struck me to my core.

He was talking about the power of Jesus Christ, and how when Christ went out, he didn't go to the masses, the masses came to him. There's something to be said for the fact that they recognized His power and would come from all over just to sit on a grassy knoll all day long to hear him preach. Pastor David spoke about the leper that Christ healed, and how in this life, sometimes God heals - and sometimes he doesn't.

It was the doesn't part that struck me. I've shared hundreds of times, it feels like, with you about my battle with melanoma. And as a Christian, the attitude that I've come to adopt is that I have to embrace this challenge and run with it. I'm not going to blame God - a lot of people choose to do that when they're missing a valuable opportunity to instead turn TO him and learn who he is in the midst of their crisis. And besides, what right have I to be angry? Job in the Bible lost everything - everything. His children, his wealth, everything was taken from him - and this was a blameless man. I'm not blameless, I frequently make mistakes and even though I'm harder on myself than anyone could ever be, I know that I still have it better than Job. Or John, who was given the gift of healing and yet lived his life with a painful physical affliction that consistently bothered him. The healer who wasn't healed.

So even though life may not seem so great all the time, we still have SO much to be thankful for. I remember a pastor once said "Who are we to assume we have a right to know what God is doing, or why he's doing it? We have no entitlement to the works or reasoning of Jesus Christ." And he was so right - we don't have any right to ask God what he's doing or ask him why he has or hasn't given us what we want. It isn't about us, and if you think it is, you may need to go and re-examine your heart. This world isn't about us doing what we want, it's about living a life focused on Jesus Christ, loving the lost and sharing the news about this savior who's in love with us.

He won't leave.

No matter how nasty or mean or irritable we are, he won't leave. Sometimes in relationships we push the people that we care about the most, away, in order to see if they'll stay or if they'll leave. But the ones who really care don't budge. They stick by your side even when you (and probably everyone else) knows you don't deserve it. Jesus is the same way - except that because he's perfect, he really won't leave. Humans are imperfect and make mistakes, we hurt each other, we fight, we say things we don't mean, but Christ is blameless and he won't ever hurt us in those ways. So as you go through trials and tribulations, remember that no matter how much you scream and yell and pound his chest, Christ is still going to stand in front of you, wrapping his arms around you and wiping away your tears. That's the kind of God he is, the kind of God he has been, and the kind of God he always will be.

I hope, friends, that if and when there are times when you feel as lonely as the leaf in the picture above, you remember the Savior who waits for you to turn to him. You're never alone, no matter how much you feel like it or how undeserving of his love you feel... and don't ever think otherwise! If the creator of the universe spent time to knit you together in your mother's womb, characteristic by characteristic so that you were unlike anyone else... you're worth more than you could ever know.

Parting thought:

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me - 2 Cor 12:9.

Talk soon.

I'll Go Where He Sends Me

Does your heart break when you see this, like mine does?

My life was marked from the beginning that I would serve Jesus Christ at a higher price than a lot of people. It wasn't through the circumstances that I grew up in, although they weren't easy - my story began with the first scar of melanoma that marked my body. I don't make it a secret that my struggle with skin cancer has been a battle I've fought half of my life. And I thank God that he put this in my path because it is through this battle I have found myself, I've found my relationship with God, and I've found what I want to do.

I want to serve.

When my Dad went on a cruise to the Dominican, he told me about how he saw Haitian children selling small trinkets in the market and looking at the American tourists with plaintive eyes and swollen bellies, begging them to buy what meager wares they had to sell for food. He told me how hard it was to see these children, knowing what we have in America and what they don't in Haiti.

My dad didn't do anything wrong, but when he and everyone else comes back from vacation, like most, they settle back into their daily patterns and those swollen bellies and heartbroken eyes fade into the background of the vacation pictures. Hearing that story, I swore to myself that one day I would go and serve the people of Haiti.

This was years before the earthquake that recently devastated the country of Haiti. That earthquake has only intensified my desire to serve, to leave my life in the US behind and go and be one of them, living only wiht the necessities as they try to put their lives back together again. South Africa has also been another calling of mine, to go and do the same there with the AIDS epidemic.

One day I'll go. And with the start of 2010, my public (however "public" this blog really is) resolution is simple. I'm going to put my time & energy where my mouth is.

I will run in a 5k. I will serve in a mission overseas in a ravaged and poor country, binding up the brokenhearted and the broken in the name of my Lord, Jesus Christ. I will focus my life on serving others. I will get a tattoo with my little sister, one that means something to both of us.

I will do these things, and so help me if I don't. I'm also going to continue this fight against melanoma. It hasn't won yet, and God-willing, it won't. I refuse to give up, to give in to the fear of the next biopsy result, the next time I see the scheduling office of my dermatologist calling to tell me the bad news and my stomach drops. I am a daughter of Jesus Christ, and for some reason, I have such peace in knowing that melanoma won't be how he calls me home. He's not done wiht me here on this earth yet, and in 2010, I'm going to take advantage of the time I have on this earth to serve His people.

My little sister is my inspiration in so many ways, and hearing her as she talks about her hopes and dreams for her life after college has me remembering that I'm still young and I have a lot of time left in my own life to do what I want to do. One of my favorite quotes is "It's never too late to be what you might have once been." Don't ever give up on any dream, thinking its too late.

It's never too late to do what you want to do. The Romans had it right when they said "Carpe Diem!" Seize the day! Don't let a moment pass without realizing how blessed you are to live it.

Parting thought:

We can easily manage if we will only take, each day, the burden appointed to it. But the load will be too heavy for us if we cary yesterday's burden over again today, and then add the burden of the morrow before we are required to bear it - John Newton

Talk soon.

*Image taken from MSNBC*

I Want To Leave a Legacy

As I sit here on the cusp of a new year, I have the urge to reflect on the year that has just swiftly passed before I bid 2009 adieu.

There was so much turmoil and change in this world that it's almost hard to stop the clock from ticking with enough time to consider everything that happened. MJ passed, Natasha Richardson, Brittany Murphy... the economy was plunged even deeper into a recession thanks to our idiot president and his Congressional cronies, the price and cost of living surged along with our deficit and the erosion of family values and morality happened even more quickly.

BUT, there was good.

My brother and my beautiful sister in law were married. I did not lose anyone in my family- and I welcomed several new and great friends into my life. My baby sister has furthered her photography career even more to the point where friends of friends are asking for referrals (YES!)- and my other big brother bought his first home. Both of my parents have continued to be successful in their career, and I moved in with my best friend who has become one of the biggest and most invaluable blessings of everyone in my life. My sister-in-law's sister (default, they have become my family too!) welcomed little baby Landon into the family, her brother Josh graduated college early, and my other best friend of years just got engaged!

God's favor and his fingerprints are all OVER my life and the lives of those I love, and I can honestly say that 2009 has been one amazing year. It was not devoid of personal struggle - I endured yet another melanoma surgery but at least this time the severity of my struggle has sunk into my mind and I'm looking forward with a renewed, responsible perception of what lays before me. I sadly ended friendships that were no longer healthy to be a part of, made mistakes but learned from them, and through it all, discovered new parts of who I am as a woman of God.

I would say that out of everything that happened in my life this year, that would be the biggest triumph. Discovering parts of my identity is an essential part of my growth in Jesus Christ, and it has caused me to ask myself one question: What is my legacy?

People know me now because I love to laugh, I try to be a dependable and trustworthy friend, and I love to encourage people. I have had several people tell me throughout my life that there's a light about me they don't see in anyone else - and every time I tell my middle name (Joy), I get the exact same reaction: that is so perfect for you!

But I want to go even deeper than those things about myself. What do they think about my character? Am I someone they look up to and admire, or do they say "Hey I like this one thing about her, but..." and take exception to the rest of who I am? Would they say I've helped them in their lives, or have I passed them by? My greatest desire throughout my life has been to one day become a wife and then an amazing mother, but even above that, when I die I want to hear just one phrase out of the mouth of my Lord: "Well done, my good and faithful servant."

Have I lived my life so that everything I say and do honors the One who gave me life? Because if I slip up, it's okay, but if I make a habit of asking for forgiveness and repeating the same mistakes, I need to more closely examine what I'm doing with my life. Albert Einstein defined insanity as "doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results." I was not created to be insane, so to avoid that in my life, with 2010 I won't make ridiculous "I won't eat sweets and I won't eat bread and I'll exercise every hour" resolutions. I'll make a simple resolution - the same one I made the middle of this year that completely changed my life and my attitude.

In 2010, I, Kimberly Joy Chidester, resolve to seek God's Will and honor Him with all of me. I resolve to be more humble, to sacrifice more for those I love, and to give more of myself to do God's will, to bind up the brokenhearted and help the lost and broken.

I'd like to invite you to question yourself, to start the journey of discovering what legacy you will leave behind. I shared a picture of my grandfather and me because he is a vital part of who I am today. Most of you know that I'm incredibly passionate about politics and my love for this country. Both of my grandfathers, Austin "Bud" Chidester (pictured above) and Joe Chmura were decorated war veterans from another generation. I spent more time with Poppop Chidester, but both men instilled in me a love for this country, as well as a passion to defend her and the liberties our forefathers fought so hard to gain. I hope that's another characteristic about me that people remember, how much I love America.

As I did my bible study this morning, I stumbled across two verses about God and who He is that really struck me. Phillippians 2:9-11 states "Therefore God also highly exalted him and gave him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus, every knee should bend, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, and the glory of God the father." WOW. Imagine, just His name instills reverence - and that's without mentioning what He has done for us. The power of the One who died for us, who loves us with all of who He is - and who would do anything for us? Talk about a legacy!

One more verse stuck out to me as I read through the Word. When we feel down in life, it's easy sometimes to slip into what my dad calls the "victim mentality," where everything is "woe is me." When I read these words in Hebrews 2:3, I was really taken aback: "Consider Him who endured such hostility against himself from sinners, so that you may not grow weary or lose heart." When you journey through this path you're on, do not lose heart. Keep fighting the good fight, because one day you'll break through that paper boundary at the finish line and you'll come out the other side thanking God for the trials you've endured.

As this chapter in our lives entitled "2009" closes, I want to speak a blessing over you. It is my hope that this year, you discover the destiny God has set aside for you. That you feel joy and peace, and as you wake up each day, you're greeted by a renewed faith that Jesus Christ will reveal himself to you in a new way with each new dawn.

If there's anything I know about our Father, it is that he is faithful beyond all comprehension. I hope in 2010, you feel that security as much as I have come to.

Parting thought:

If you have made mistakes, there is always another chance for you. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call "failure" is not the falling down, but the staying down - Mary Pickford

Talk soon.

My God. My Savior. My friend.

It's the beginning of December, and I'm sitting here listening to MercyMe Christmas music, decorating my house for the first Christmas I'll spend here with Jenn. And as I listen to old favorites blaring through the speakers of my Mac, I seem to hear them for the first time in my 24 years of listening.

There's something about the start of the Christmas season that stirs deep inside of my spirit. I think it's a culmination of several things. One, my family. I can honestly say that beginning with the first weekend in December, I have at least one family tradition with one parent every single weekend from then until New Year's. I LOVE them, and I can't wait to share them with my kids (whenever that day comes). Second, there seems to be some charitable part of people that comes out with the wreaths and garlands, where we all remember everyone is human and everyone seems more cheery.

But third? The real reason for Christmas.

I've been sharing my personal journey with you for well over a year now. And as I read back and hear my heart through old posts, I become aware all over again how far I feel like I've come. I've really and truly been brought to the end of myself to the point where the only strong desires I have are the ones to trust God with every part of my life. The time of me trying to do things on my own has, for the most part, given way to a thirst for the will of God in my life. And because I've grown so close to Him, desiring an airtight bond with him that grows with each new morning, I feel like I really understand who He is- and who He wants to be to me and in my life.

Which brings me to Christmas. I know at Easter I was overwhelmed with gratitude and love for Christ, thinking of what sacrifices He made for me, an undeserving sinner who, before Him, had no hope. He saved me from a life that (thankfully!) I'll never know I could've had, and it was that gratitude that has always brought me to tears when I see the Cross. And as I think about Christmas approaching, I have a few thoughts at the forefront of my mind.

One, peace. God has provided for me again and again, even when I thought there was no possible way He could. And as the day of his birth comes approaching at a pace that feels like a locomotive, I think about the Christ I know and I think about how much He means to me now more than ever. Christmas isn't about presents. It isn't about stockings or Christmas trees. It's not about family photos, tacky sweaters, garland and pine candles. It doesn't define itself with sugar cookies, or fully banked fires burning on a snowy night.

Christmas symbolizes the beginning of forever in my mind. An innocent child, born from a virgin (makes me proud to share that with Mary!) who had been miraculously chosen to bring forth the King that would save this world. I don't tear up with emotion because of a present wrapped under a tree. I think about what Jesus was that night, and what he grew to become- and how that saved us. And listening to Christmas carols (I HIGHLY recommend downloading MercyMe's "Joseph Lullaby" if you want to know the best Christmas song out there, and definitely check out the lyrics. I can't even write about how amazing they are!) and thinking about what I'll be buying for my loved ones may be great, but it pales in comparison with the emotions that will be felt on Christmas morning.

As these next few weeks swiftly pass as December 25th approaches, I want to challenge you. Lately I've felt an overwhelming desire to encourage the people that I love the most in my life, and I'd like to challenge you to join me as I attempt to speak love and peace over my loved ones. The next person you talk to, compliment them with a heartfelt compliment. Tell them what they mean to you. Give them a hug. Offer to help a friend or your brother when you know they need it. Take your sister out to coffee. Invite your parents over for dinner. Even something simple like texting a favorite quote to a friend can make a difference. Imagine what kinds of things you need to cheer you up when you're feeling down, and take that to someone who may not even need it. The times in my life where I remember feeling that rush of love from Jesus Christ were when I reached out to one of His children and did something totally random that I felt led to do. Helping the elderly at the grocery store, smiling at the charity bell ringers outside the store - all it takes is one person to make a difference in a big way.

And when you start to get overwhelmed with the Christmas season, remember the picture of Christ that I often have when I think of him, just like the picture above: He loves you because you are His child, so use this season to celebrate what He is and what He has become in your life. I am willing to bet you a 5-course, home-cooked meal that in a matter of a few days you'll notice that the holidays mean more to you than they ever have. Here's hoping that they do!

Parting thought:

You will guard him and keep him in perfect and constant peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he commits himself to You, leans on You, and hopes confidently in You - Isaiah 26:3

Talk soon - and MERRY CHRISTMAS!

My Father's Daughter

In so many ways, I am my father's daughter.

I have my dad's nose. I have his hands. We have the same color hair - and are blessed with the same devilishly good looks (haha). We also have the same sense of humor.

I'm a lot like my mom, there is no denying that. I have her compassion to love, her desire to obey and follow Jesus Christ, and the same servant's heart.

But in so many ways, I am just like my dad.

I'm definitely a daddy's girl - I don't see what's wrong with that. I may be blessed with parents that love me and have been able to provide for me, but they also taught me to work hard, very hard, for what I have- and to never complain. One lesson my dad has taught me that has n e v e r left my heart is this: Never let yourself be the victim. Through all of my skin surgeries, the painful stitches and the aching effects of each new melanoma occurrence, you wouldn't hear me complaining and asking "why me," because I was raised better than that. And it is my dad that I owe that gratitude to.

And as much as I love him (obviously)- it's not my dad that I want to talk about today. The father I want to talk about is a little larger than life - literally. It's Jesus Christ, and today I'd love to show you the picture of him that I've grown to see over the past 24 years of my life.

I've shared with you what I've been through: divorce, deaths, cancer, the whole nine yards. And throughout all of these situations, I've come to the realization that as Christians in a dark and fallen world, we have one choice: Do we use the situation to refine and strengthen our faith - or do we allow it to pry us away from the One solution? I've chosen both options at various times and under different circumstances over my life. And I can tell you with absolute certainty that the best option is the first: trust in Him. Ask Him what He's trying to show you - and if you can't hear or see Him, ask Him to reveal Himself to you. Our God is a God who pursues, He's just waiting for you to ask Him to start the chase.

It's not an easy choice, to let go of your will for His. Trust me, I know because I've learned it. But as you let go, you really do see that God says "Hey little one, you did your part. Let me do mine." I've referenced several different stories in the Bible about obedience over the course of this "devotional," if you will. There are so many awesome parts in the Bible where God's love for us shines so brightly, my favorite being Psalm 45:11: The King is enthralled by your beauty; honor Him, for He is your Lord.

Enthralled? Do you have any idea how heavy that word is? Dictionary.com defines "enthralled" in verb form as "to captivate or charm." It means that Christ can't look away from you, His eyes never leave your sight. That doesn't just apply to women because the word "beauty" is involved, Men :)

What I like to think of is the look a new husband gives his wife when he first sees her as she walks down the aisle toward him and their new life together. Some men tear up, others smile a smile so large it takes up their entire countenance. Regardless, the scene that is so common to so many marriage ceremonies perfectly illustrates the point of what I think God does when he looks at us: he can't take his eyes away from you. He doesn't want to. And it doesn't end there.

He adores us, but He also knows life isn't always easy and fun. there are days when we get stuck down in the mud of the trenches in the battle in this life and it's all we can do to hold onto the white flag of surrender as we realize we can't do it anymore. In those times, especially in my battles and wars, I've found that God's the one holding onto us when we can't hold onto Him. He isn't some omnipotent being in the sky who looks down on us for entertainment.

If that's who He was, would he have allowed himself - and I say "allowed" because he easily could've stopped the crucifixion- to die the most painful death imaginable, reserved for the worst of criminals, just to save us when he was totally innocent? No. Would he have allowed himself to be persecuted for telling the truth, for teaching against doctrines that ruined kingdom after kingdom, dynasty after dynasty? No. Would he have bound up the brokenhearted, rescued the lost, or restored the life of the dead? No.

That's because he's not the kind of God that watches and doesn't do anything. He's a God who saves, who loves, whose heart breaks with ours when we cry wrenching sobs and wonder where he was the whole time, when the answer is clear: beside us as our heart breaks.

Many people don't agree with me because they've allowed this life to pull them away from Him. My hope and prayer is that one day, those same choices and circumstances bring them back. I say this because Jesus Christ is the only hope in this fallen world, the only one whose band-aid can piece together our broken hearts, the only one who's up for the challenge.

What do you say, are you willing to take the risk?

This is one gamble I can promise will pay off. And if you're not ready right now, He'll wait until you are.

Parting thought:

I thank God for the Unseen Hand, sometimes urging me onward, sometimes holding me back; sometimes with a caress of approval, sometimes with a stroke of reproof; sometimes correcting, sometimes comforting. My times are in his hand - Vince Havner

Talk soon.

The Simple Things

In this life, this country, there are so many negative things happening every day that it isn't difficult to lose sight of the good. In fact, it's a whole lot easier to pinpoint the bad.

But sometimes, that isn't the case. Sometimes it's overwhelming how good and fulfilling life can be if you just take time to look around you.

Tonight, I had dinner with my dad at one of my favorite restaurants (score). Over my favorite wine, and in our great conversation, I was given a gift that from this day forward I'm going to carry everywhere with me. My dad, in one of his abounding moments of encouragement, gave me this verse:

So, whatever you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God - 1 Corinthians 10:31.

That really made me think. In this time in my life I'm going through transition. A big transition, where I'm realizing the days of effortless ignorance and carefree living are limited by bills, loans, health concerns, choices about health insurance, thinking about buying a house, and a million other elements that comprise adulthood. It's unavoidable, inevitable, and annoying, but it's all a part of being a mature and responsible adult.

And as time passes with each day, I'm reminded of all of the good things in my life - which is what I want to talk about today.

I've shared before my struggle with melanoma. I just had an "in situ" mole removed with surgery, and before you go and Google that (haha), I'll go ahead and share what it means. In situ means that the cells in your skin may evolve into melanoma and invade other parts of the body- but they haven't transitioned to cancer yet. So, again, my dermatologist and team of specialists, this time a plastic surgeon, have potentially saved my life. I found out today that they did, in fact, get all of the cancerous cells out and I'm cancer f r e e for three months!!! (You should've heard me after my appointment, I was elated).

I've shared with a few people that for some reason, this surgery was the turning-point in my attitude. Melanoma is a death sentence, there's no way to beat it, you can only manage it. And since I've had it since I was 16, the attitude I adopted in the past was, well to be honest, angry. I was angry I was given a burden that heavy to bear so early in my life, when I'm in love with the outdoors and it meant I'll always have to watch what I do, always wear sunscreen... I was angry and resentful that I would have to change my life because of something that was, to a degree, a result of choices I didn't make. Sure I tanned, but melanoma can be hereditary and I couldn't have told my parents to put sunscreen on me when I was 4. So, up until a year or two ago, I still didn't wear sunscreen that often (if at all), and I was lackadaisical about the entire situation.

This surgery changed that mentality. When I looked in the mirror and saw the ugly and angry surgery site with the black stitches in my skin standing out like coal on a white snowman, my stomach sunk and it hit me that this will be my life if I don't stop what I'm doing. And that scared the crap out of me. I have more scars than I can count on my back, and very often I liken it to a battleground in this epic struggle with skin cancer. I don't really enjoy the process of adding more.

And as I sat in my room, thinking about how I want to change these habits of mine, it made me think about my life in general. The people and the situations that have made me who I am. To tell you all of my thoughts and emotions about everything would take forever, so in the interest of time I'd really like to share what's been on my heart most recently.

My family is beyond amazing. They really are. I really only can count on one hand how many people I know that have the kind of relationship with their family that I've been blessed with... we spend a lot, if not most, of our free time together because we want to, and we're always doing something fun or crazy. I live for our Sunday afternoon dinner & football game parties, and I think that the month of December is my favorite (second to October) because we have family traditions that take up every weekend. The only people who stick around in my life are the ones that have the same appreciation for them that I do - and I love this about my life.

I also have some truly spectacular friends... I don't need to name them personally (except Jennifer because she is my best). To say that my friends are loyal and encouraging would be an understatement, and it's easy to share my life with them. I know I could call any of them in the middle of the night and they'd come over, no matter the issue. That is a friend. I've always said a true friend is someone who encourages you to grow and who brings out the best in you... and I can say I'm blessed.

So, this post is in honor of you. As I think about my life and the things that mean the most to me, it becomes very simple: my favorite things are the people I love, and the God I serve. Nothing else ultimately matters anyway, and in the end the things I hold the closest to my heart are the memories I've made with the people in my life and the ways they've helped me to grow and become the woman that I've become today.

So at the risk of sounding much less emphatic and serious I am, the only words I can say are these: Thank you. For what you do, for who you are, and for what you've all brought to my life. I wouldn't be Kimberly without you!

Parting thought:

My imperfections and failures are as much a blessing from God as my successes and my talents and I lay them both at his feet - Mahatma Gandi

Talk soon.