Through The Silence, I Hear Him

My God is not absent.

A lot of times, people think that God's not in their lives because he hasn't given them what they want, when they want it.  Today in church, my pastor reflected on the last lesson of a series they've been doing called "God Is..." and the goal is to try to sum up Jesus Christ in 30 minutes. Okay, obviously Jehovah cannot be canned into a 30 minute speech... but there are a few very important things I've taken away from the series.

The main, and most vital, lesson about this is that God is always there.  Even when you can't sense him.  You can't hear him.  You can't see him.  As my sister said about this photo: and in the midst of silence, you hear Him most.  She's totally right.  Sometimes in the middle of the storm, it's easy to lose track of his voice.  Sometimes the wind is ripping the things that you've held dear out of your life by the roots and you feel like you'll never get them back.  Sometimes the biting, driving rain pelts your skin so hard that you feel like the pain won't ever end.  For me, sometimes the cold and the lonliness of the winter makes me feel like no one will ever understand what I'm going through.  But sometimes, in those quiet moments when you're alone and there's no one else around, you hear the voice of Jesus Christ whisper to the innermost part of who you are and it suddenly all clicks.  He's been there the whole time, but we really haven't been listening.  Or, maybe we were listening but there were too many distractions preventing us from understanding.

One time, my oldest brother said something to me that hit the nail squarely on the head for where I was at that time in my life.  He told me, "Kim, I know where you are.  You're in a room with seven CD players all blasting music at full impact and you just don't know what to do."  He was right - sometimes I have so much "noise" in my life that I can't really see what God's trying to show me... or, sometimes it's just that I don't want to see.  I know I'm not alone in making that choice, and I'm not ashamed to admit that because it's the truth.  Sometimes what God is requiring of me is the most painful choice I have to make, given my options.  But as I think about who my God really is, I understand that it isn't that God is some angry man in the sky...

The truth about Jesus Christ is that he loves and adores us more than we could ever possibly hope to understand, and he's waiting patiently for us to turn to him and say "Hey God? Can you turn off the music?" We weren't created to endure nonstop heartache, we were created to have the urge to turn to someone to make it all better.  The mistake we make is to turn to people and expect them to provide the band-aids we need.  The solution is to realize that God's band-aid is the only one that will fit.

Another realization I've had is that I don't have to fight my way through life anymore.  Just like an angry, growling pit bull guarding a junk yard, Jesus Christ is prepared to station himself at the door of your heart and protect its precious contents.  He doesn't get distracted by cuts and bruises in a battle.  He sends in his warriors to fight on your behalf so that you don't have to.  Granted, choosing to let Him take over can sometimes be the most painful part of it.  Whether it's your finances, your relationships, your wants and desires and dreams for your future... sometimes you may feel like you know better than He does.  

But, you couldn't be more wrong.

GOD knows what's best for us even when we think we know ourselves.  He did create us, after all... so why not let the creator of who you are show you how he can protect you?  I always tell people that if the creator of the universe, the entity that crafted the stars in the dark night sky, the oceans that pulse over the surface of this Earth, and the millions of unique people that walk this planet... if He did all of that but he still took his precious time to craft you and make you unlike anyone else, don't you think he cares about you?

Lately, I've been letting him fight my battles.  I have scars to prove I tried to fight some on my own, but the wisdom those lessons afforded me are still something I wouldn't trade for anything.  I have tumbled and fallen to the bottom of the hill, scraped, bloody, bruised, and looked up to see a hand that pulled me to my feet to wipe away the tears and make it all better.  If I hadn't tumbled, I wouldn't have learned who He is.

As one of the guest pastors of my church said a few weeks ago, "If we didn't experience the pain of loss, how would we know of God's provision?"  It isn't until you're at the end of yourself that you can see His purpose for your life.  The journey is full of potholes, cliffs, rifts in the road, and you'll fall into them.  That's pretty much a given.  But when you make your way out with His help, you can't imagine the sunset you experience as the way you knew your life before, ends.

I'm telling you, that view, like the picture above, makes the entire journey worth it.

Parting thought:

Though at times the storms and stress of life
may cause my faith to quake,
the very faithfulness of God
no storm shall ever shake.
Though I may quake and tremble,
may worry and may sorrow,
God in His faithfulness will see
me through each new tomorrow.
I think God allows our problems
to give our faith a test,
to show that as we lean on Him
we can trust His faithfulness.
God warned us we'd face troubles
in this world we're living in
but Jesus died and lives again
to save our soul from sin.
He came not to change the world
but to change our heart and soul,
to give us hope and courage
to attain our fondest goal…
to blaze a trail before us
guide us safely through the "morrow,
to teach us and to comfort us
despite this world of sorrows,
if we keep faith and follow
God in His constant faithfulness
will surely lead us through
and will in time all grief arrest.
All we need to do is trust Him,
believe, just do our best,
to follow as He leads us
and let Him do the rest.
In Christ we can not be defeated
in this world by anything
if instead of being overwhelmed
we trust God in everything.
By trusting in God"s faithfulness,
in His omnipotence,
we too can overcome the world
and live with confidence.
God understands our weakness,
knows where we're coming from
but by trusting in His faithfulness
our own faith will overcome.
God wants us to lean on Him
when problems come around.
Faith is getting up again
more times than we are down.
God will carry us if need be
in those times we're hardest hit
if we believe, just lean on Him
and don't give up and quit.
He will not leave us for a moment.
Even in troubles we are blest
for God is always with us
and we can trust His faithfulness.

- A Bromley

Talk soon.

*Images above used with permission of Illuminare.Images*

A Swiftly Passing Moment

Sometimes, I'll just be driving in my car and I'll have an epiphany: I'm not so young anymore.

I know this year marks the 24th of my life. I know that. And to some people, it may seem like it's ridiculous to say that I feel like I'm already old... but to be honest, I've been through so much already in this life that it feels sometimes like I am an old soul.

So on these days when I have this realization, I always think of when I go to the beach, and I pick up a handful of glittery golden sand.  I like sand on the beach at night because it's cool to the touch and it just feels softer.  I love to pick up a handful of sand and let the grains slowly and gracefully sift their gritty way through my fingertips, back to its foreign home as a neighbor to the sea.

Life's a lot like that sand.  I'll never be able to pick up the same grains again, no matter how carefully I drop the grains or how particular I am with how it falls back to the ground.  And like the slow motion of the sand drifting back to the sea of gold under my toes, I'll never be able to get back a moment of my life after it's passed.

Even just this week, the world has lost three big names in the race of life.  And as I have endured one trial after another these past few days, I've allowed room for introspection.  What is TRULY important?  If I only get that handful of sand back, what would I have done differently?

So lately I've been trying to enjoy my life with each new day.  Laugh.  Drink a second glass of your favorite wine.  When you feel the urge to go talk to someone you don't know- do it.  The other day I ran into an old high school teacher whose faith and kind spirit always stood out to me - so I told him, even though there's no way he remembered who I was.  I walked away really glad that I had, because you never know how God is going to use you or what you say to someone else.

Buy a hammock and swing on it on a quiet summer night with someone that you care about- stare at the stars, open yourself up to them.  Take time to play an extra five minutes with your dog.  Go for a run before a rainstorm, enjoy the fresh air that accompanies the thunder.  There are so many things in this world that are so easy to do and that can seriously improve the quality of your life if you'll just stop to enjoy them.  I lost my grandfather last year, suddenly, and to this day I still wish he was here so that I could call him and we could rant about the crappy job our president is doing, or talk about golf, or have him rib me because I promised to send him something that I haven't gotten around to yet.  My heart aches sometimes because I know he isn't coming back to me - but as much as I miss him, I don't regret anything because he left this earth and he knew exactly how much I loved him.  I'd always take a minute to call him on Veteran's Day, or tell him how much I appreciated him when I was hanging out with my Dad and we called him together.  That ache won't go away, but the satisfaction of knowing I chose to take a minute to enjoy my grandfather as he was will always stay with me.

I have the battle scars to prove that life on this Earth is anything but easy.  Frankly, my scars are nothing compared to those of Jesus Christ, so when I have a bad or difficult day, I try to keep it in perspective.  He's blessed us with the neverending gift of a brand new day every 24 hours.  Tomorrow, use yours to go and do something unexpected.  And as you do this,

Enjoy the satisfaction of knowing you are living a life well lived.

Parting thought: 

Do not pray for easy lives; pray to be stronger men. Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers;pray for powers equal to your tasks. Then the doing of your work shall be no miracle, but you shall be a miracle. Every day you shall wonder at yourself, at the richness of life which has come to you by the grace of God. - Phillips Brooks

Talk soon.

*Image used with permission from Illuminare.Images*

Don't Put A Question Mark Where God Puts a Period.

Life, and love, are very complicated.  To say that someone has "mastered the game" would be a ridiculous comment to make.  No one can ever completely figure out the opposite sex, it is a physical impossibility- no matter how many dates you go on, no matter what kind of personality or upbringing you have.  No way.

I frequently tell my best friends that we aren't getting any younger.  And as we pass the time we've been given on this earth, I've come to realize a few things.  I'd really like to share these things with you - part of me really hopes that through all of the things I've learned and experienced, someone out there sees they're not the only ones to struggle with the things I've struggled with.  Today, I'd like to take you on a little journey as we talk about what the big curly-headed angel with the bow and arrow has been teaching me.

One, absolutely never, under any circumstances, should you settle.  Not once.  I think that people, and in this case, men (because I'm primarily speaking to the ladies) see women for who they *are,* not who they try to be.  The worst thing that you can do is change yourself to please someone else.  God doesn't make mistakes, in my opinion, and he made you exactly the way you are for a reason.  For example, I struggle with the scars I've had made from all of my melanoma surgeries... but lately, I've come to embrace them.  They're who I am, they are my story, and they are me.  I hope that you readers know that you are beautiful the way that you are, there's no reason to change that masterpiece to fit the ideals of someone else.  And in coming with this piece of advice, comes the idea that you should absolutely have standards when you date.  Don't accept someone into your life just because they're a body who calls you when you don't have plans.  Accept someone into your life because you can't imagine yourself without them.  And don't falter in your beliefs just to appease someone else... don't let go of God because it isn't popular, don't dress fancy because he wears Polo, don't let go of your love of country because he's into Metal.  Always keep the integrity of who you are and who you want to be, and refuse to give that up for anyone in life- love interest or platonic friend.  The greatest gift you've been given is the person that you will become, and there is no reason for you to change that just for someone who is a fleeting interest.

Besides, the right guy will treasure you for exactly who you are - faults, disagreements, grungy days.

I put a picture of my brother and my best friend up because that's the focus of what I want to talk about today.  For those of you who don't know (and if you don't know, you must not know me, because I talk about it all the time!) my oldest brother, my beloved brother, is marrying a fantastic woman in a few months.  Their relationship hasn't been easy, or perfect, but they've shown me that a desire to truly love someone to the core of who they are IS enough to make a relationship last.  I've been so inspired by their love story because it shows me that true, healthy love can and does exist in this world.  If I had to pick something to share with you about my emotions about the wedding, it's Joy.  Joy because it shows true love IS possible.   Joy because good, Christian men ARE out there.  Joy because as a woman, it shows that you don't have to sacrifice who you are to be able to find the man of your dreams - Sara's a fantastic woman inside and out, she has the gentlest nature I've ever seen in anyone in my entire life, and she and John together are the kind of couple that make you say "I want what they have."  It's a blessing in my life to be able to see this kind of relationship - and although I've had some great relationships in my time, these two give me something to aspire to.

You don't have to know them to know what they have.  And you don't have to wait forever until you can have your own version.  A lot of people are surprised at the stances that I have made in my life.  I credit my entire life course to Jesus Christ.  He made me who I am, even through the moments when I tried to turn away; he brought me back to life.  And as I give him my dating, my love story, and whoever he brings into my life and allows to stay - he will still be in control.  I have a lot of self-respect, and the things I'd like to share with you today are simple.

1: Let the man call.  Men were built emotionally to be the pursuer, the hunter, and no matter how many times he says he likes a woman who calls - inside, he doesn't.  He wants to be the one to call.  (Besides, I've always said, if a guy wants to talk - he'll call you).

2. Respect yourself, and the (right) guy will respect you.  Sadly, this doesn't apply to all men - but the good ones respect stands that you make, and won't push you to break them.  This is usually a great way to weed out the losers.

3. Take your time.  There's no need to rush things.  You may not be getting any younger but you're also aging at a slow pace, and you don't need to get an engagement ring on the second date.  Dating is about finding out who you are, what you like in someone and what you don't like - it should never be a race to the finite finish line! Things crash and burn too easily when they haven't had time to perfect themselves.  Dating is no different.

4. Maintain your own identity.  I understand in a relationship, it's perfectly natural to want to share your life with someone.  But that is all it should be - sharing.  Not forgoing 2 separate identities just because you're dating exclusively.  I say that you should each have your own life and then allow the other person into yours.  Never sacrifice your own identity, your own desires, your own hobbies and interest, for anyone else.

5. Enjoy yourself.  I've learned, at times the hard way, not to take life too seriously.  Be silly.  Try new restaurants and foods (just yesterday I was told I needed to "expand my horizons" by trying a spider sushi roll... I said "Whatever" and went with it - and it was good!).  Watch a movie genre you've never seen.  LAUGH.  Whatever you do, this time in our lives was meant to be a time we always remember with fond memories.  Don't go and waste that time on someone who doesn't deserve it - or you.

I hope, above all, that you see that a really great and healthy love is possible for everyone.  I am in love with the music of a guy named Brandon Heath.  He sings some phenomenal Christian music, but my favorite song is called "Let's Make It Last."  I want to leave you with these lyrics, and one more thing.  During one of the most painful experiences in my life, my mom said this to me.  Whenever something happens my mind instantly travels back to this - as you live your life, live it according to this thought:

Parting thought: 

 "It won't always be this way." - my beautiful Mom.

Talk soon.

"Let's Make It Last"

Brandon Heath

Off the "Don't Get Comfortable" album.

Rain come down tonight

Except for the bump on my head I'm feeling all right

Dancing to our favorite tune

I pulled you in way too soon

Bang when the drums we went boom

Yeah

Running through the yard

Splashing through puddles with you without regard

Do you think the neighbors will care

So what if they do, they'll just stare

The kids will all say its not fair

The way that we love

The way that we laugh

It's something worth seeing

So let's make it last

Let's make it last

Come some sunny day

We'll call in sick to our jobs

What will we say

She's coming down with a flue

I think that I'm catching it too

This is what love makes you do

The way that we love 

The way that we laugh

It's something worth seeing

So let's make it last 

(Photo courtesy of MC Photography)

Change Isn't All Bad

So, they say that when every door closes, God opens a window.  Well, I don't like to think that God's that predictable- but I do think that he likes to keep us on our toes and allows the path of our lives to consistently change.

Today marks the end of an era.  The cessation of a legacy.  Sara, my best friend and soon-to-be-sister and I have (almost) returned the keys to 927 and moved on with life.  I am saving for a house.  She is preparing to marry my brother and will be moving downtown in a few months (holla!) and staying with her sis temporarily.

Although this is really sad to me (yes, I did get choked up several times today- and not because of the amount of crap we had to move & organize in 100% humidity and violent downpours), it's also really exciting.  Sara is an absolutely incredible best friend, and I have had an absolute fabulous time living with her... she's been the perfect roommate, but she's been more than that.  I have heard the saying that God never gives us more than we can handle.

I don't think so.

I absolutely think God Does give us more than we can handle because when we are weighed down & can't do it on our own, it forces us to choose to fail, or to trust Him (if life was easy, when would we ever turn to Him?).  The past year and a half has been supremely difficult for me, probably the most difficult my life has ever experienced.  But through it all, Sara's consistent & dependable friendship- combined with her kind and gentle nature (which has helped to tame mine at times) has really been a huge blessing.  While I'm sad that she won't be my roommate, I will be thrilled to have her become my sister <3

And as I prepare to save for a down payment on a house (scary!) to hopefully start a new chapter of my life, I can't help but review the past few pages.  Lots of tumultuous events, lots of learning, and lots & lots upon lots of growing pains in life.  I've become a newer, stronger, more mature woman than I ever hoped to become, and that hasn't come without its share of challenges.  And as I look ahead, I can't help but become really excited.

I'm moving into a new chapter of my life where I don't know what to expect.  That special guy in my life recently secured a position with a great company back here in Charlotte... and will be moved home this time next weekend (after 5 years).  It's exciting, it's a little confusing, but it'll be great to have him home & to be able to refresh our relationship.  My job's going really well, my family has been amazing and blessed beyond measure, I've rekindled some priceless friendships with some phenomenal women... and I can say, without a doubt, I feel like I have emerged from this past chapter of my life with a renewed sense of direction & self-awareness.

I'm ready for whatever challenge life hands me next, and I'm looking forward to seizing each new opportunity to find out more about Jesus Christ and what paths he has set for my life.

Parting thought:

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy, for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another - Anatole France

Talk soon.

Define Yourself.

So, Jesus Christ is the most important thing in my life.

But on that list, far down, are politics.  And with what's going on in this country, I have a bit of a bone to pick.  First, with our president.

Now, I understand that this country is really divided over him (he only won with 53% of the vote, mind you.  That means 47% did not choose him as their president).  That means we aren't all going to agree.  I will say, straight, that I voted for John McCain and I don't regret it.  I did, and still do, think he's the best choice for this country.  Obviously, I didn't get what I wanted, and I have to settle for Obama.

That being said, I have a few points of contention.  One is the fact that he has, not once, taken responsibility for a single choice that he has made.  He's even trying to back out of taking responsibility for the omnibus spending plan, now.  Okay, if that was a elementary school child trying to avoid taking a nap, we'd understand.  But we're talking about the essential leader of the free world, who violently and forcefully rammed through a trillion dollar stimulus plan, using the world "catastrophe" 27 times in one speech to describe the disparity of the world if we did not pass it- and then took a 3-day vacation.  Something tells me the wheels of Air Force One don't quite touch the ground... he's not really living here with the rest of us.  He can't speak without a teleprompter.  He has hired numerous heads of cabinent with felonious tax problems, legal problems, ethics conflicts, and horrendous track records in their previous careers.

These people are running our country.

And now, we have a level 5, almost-pandemic outbreak of swine flu... and the head of our Department of Homeland Security (for those of you who are unaware of what they do, they are in charge of protecting this country from national and international threats... ie: securing the homeland) refuses to consider closing the border to prevent even further spread of a highly contagious airborne disease.  Because, in essence, she doesn't want to.

Yes, that makes a whole lot of sense.

Politics aside (as if that were possible), I have a second bone to pick.  Now, I'm not the biggest fan of banks in general.  BUT, I do understand the necessity of fiscal diversity for consumers, the need to have multiple choices for places to store your funds.  I get it.  But, I DO have a problem with the way the unions and ill-informed individuals have attempted to crucify Ken Lewis of Bank of America. 

First, back in January, the Obama-nation White House, and this joke of a Congress/Senate, come to Lewis and say "Hey, you're going to take this installment of tax payer money.  It's your patriotic duty (anytime BO says that, watch out) to take this money.  Oh- and by the way, I know we talked about this in December- you're going to take over Merrill Lynch.  We'll give you tax payer money for that too, but you don't really have a choice.  Learn to like it."  So, Ken Lewis goes through with the merger- to the chagrin of their shareholders, I'll admit that.  They didn't have all the information before they voted it through, and that was wrong.

But, fast-forward to early April 2009.  The bottom has almost totally fallen out of the financial markets, nasty bare-bones are exposed to this BoA-Merrill deal, and people are looking to get angry.  Not to be counted in the slightest is the fact that BoA posts a 1Q PROFIT in a recession... nope, that doesn't matter.  Worker unions who have pensions invested in BoA decide to jump on Lewis, and make him the scapegoat for all things related to the "r" word, and start calling for Lewis to resign.

Now, let's level.  Ken Lewis brought Bank of America through two successful mergers, one with Countrywide in late '08 and one with Merrill Lynch that was voted through in late '08 and early '09.  Successful.  They posted a profit.  They MADE MONEY in the first financial quarter of 2009.  Yet the unions, deciding they don't have enough to be angry about, get exhausted consumers riled up on lies and misrepresented truth and start to rally based on that anger.  The vote went before the common and preferred stockholders today at the Annual Meeting, and the verdict has been delivered that the role of Chairman & CEO has been split, leaving him the CEO and leaving BoA grasping for a stand-in for the role of Chairman (they can kiss Hugh McColl goodbye, he's already said he won't do it). 

Here's my issue- what in the WORLD do these unions, these every day misguided citizens, really think this is going to do?  Many Charlotte-based and statewide financial groups and panels have come out in SUPPORT of Ken Lewis, not limited to the Charlotte Chamber (all business professionals), the United Way, Habitat for Humanity, and the North Carolina Treasury Department.  In layman's terms: the people who know business in Charlotte.  What could one union (knowing that unions are largely responsible for the failure of a large number of public businesses since their inception in the mid-1900s, most recently the almost-demise of Ford Motor Co & almost successful ruin of GM Motors & Chrysler) *possibly* know about what's best for a publicly held company?  One only needs to google "UAW" to understand how these entities are such a tool against free enterprise and capitalism in today's economic world.

Bottom line:  They don't know anything relevant in this situation, and they should shut up and get out of the kitchen because they obviously cannot stand the heat.  And, there has been a large mistake made by ousting Ken Lewis from part of his job.  I sincerely stand behind him and will continue to do so.

I had to rant and purge myself of these feelings of irritation.   Mainly because I only carry one vote, and although I do my best during campaign season by volunteering, campaigning, and for those of you who know me- even wearing my political gear... I can only do so much.  Which brings me to my idea today: if you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything.  I'm very passionate about being a Conservative Republican.  I'm very proud of who and what I believe in.  So, you should decide what you stand for.

What do you get passionate about supporting?  Is it being Pro-life?  Is it being Pro-family, supporting the model of traditional marriage?  Maybe you're on the flip side of the issues from me.  I don't care what it is, but decide what you stand for it and stand for it, unconditionally.  With how rapidly this world is deteriorating, socially, financially, and even physically now- it's more important than ever to stand and fight for what you believe.

For me, it's God, Family, Country.  I'm unapologetically traditional, I love my family, I love this country, and I'll defend them to the end of me.  What about you?

Who are you, really?

Parting thought:

All my life I had been looking for something, and everywhere I turned someone tried to tell me what was.  I accepted their answers, too, though they were often in contradiction and even self-contradictory.  I was naive.  I was looking for myself and asking everyone except myself questions which I, and only I, could answer.  It took me a long time and much painful boomeranging of my expectations to achieve realization everyone else appears to have been born with:  that I am nobody but myself - Ralph Ellison, "Battle Royal"

Talk soon.

*Pictures above used with permission from MC Photography*

I Thank God Every Day For...

Driving with the windows down, sunroof open, sister in the passenger seat & singing as loud as possible to Dave Barnes or Taylor Swift.  A beautiful Carolina day at the driving range, capped off with a dinner with my Dad.  Snuggling with my puppy and a great movie on a rainy Saturday night.  Family cookouts at my parents' houses, hanging outside on the patio for hours after we've finished a meal.  The smile that wrinkles the eyes of someone special in my life. 

These are the simple things that make me grateful for my life.  Just a few, honestly if I wrote them all we'd both be here for awhile!  But I want you to see that there are things in life that are positive, even in the midst of pain that can seem insurmountable.

I'll make no secret about the fact that I dislike our government, I dislike our President, our elected officials, and most of the people running this country.  I think this country is long overdue for the repercussions of some of the choices that we've made... making abortion legal, allowing stem cell research, and yes- even gay marriage.  I disagree with all of these things.  The stimulus plan?  The "budget" for the federal government?  Come on.  A two year old could make more sense than these people do.  The DOW plunging and peaking every other day, playing hacky-sack with the life savings of thousands of fiscally responsible American's 401k and retirement funds... an appeasement approach to foreign affairs (has never worked, will never work).  Hundreds of thousands of hard-working American workers told not to bother coming into work.

Yes, this is a difficult time.

But it is NOT the end of the world.

Do you have air in your lungs?  Do you have clean clothing that fits that lays upon your back?  Can you get up from an air-conditioned room and walk into ANOTHER room to your fridge for a snack?  How about going outside and going to church in public?  Maybe capping that off with a lunch at your favorite restaurant?  When you're home, you put pocket change into a secret stash?  Well, if you can do any of these things, you're in the top 1% of the world.  The WORLD.  Count yourself as absolutely blessed, but don't feel guilty for what you have.  Just be thankful.

In the midst of everything we struggle with these days- jobs, family, relationships, money, health... in the end, things aren't that bad.  Think about the things that you love to do with your time.  Do you volunteer?  Do you call up a friend and grab coffee?  Maybe you stretch your muscles and go for a nice, long run.  Well, as long as we can still do these simple things in life, we're going to be okay.

I want to challenge you.  Seriously, bare with me.  Go grab a sheet of paper and a pen.  And think about five things that you can do now that you really enjoy.  Just 5 things.  I'll share one of mine with you:  I can go to church and praise Jesus Christ without the fear of being imprisoned or killed.  That's a huge thing to me.  What are yours? - list them out, and the next time CNN or MSNBC tries to tell you that the world is ending, *pull out the list.* Read it out loud.  And be thankful that you can do those things.

It's the simple things in life that make me enjoy my time on this earth the most.  My family, my friends, my dog... I may not have much, but I have people that love me and a lot of huge blessings in my life.  I'm sure you do, too-

So go out and enjoy them.  Turn off the news, go grab a fresh breath of air from your doorstep, and cherish this day we've been given.  Because after all, sometimes all it takes is to look through the shadows to see the light.

Parting thought:

Count your blessings.  Once you realize how valuable you are and how much you have going for you, the smiles will return, the sun will break out, the music will play, and you will finally be able to move forward the life that God intended for you with Grace, Strength, Courage, and Confidence - Og Mandino

Talk soon.

*Photo above used with permission from MC Photography*

This One's For The Girls

Sorry guys, today it's all about us ladies!

My entire life changed because of a bible verse in a homemade picture frame.  "Uh, yeah, okay, Kim!" you may think.  Well, I'm telling the truth- and I'm also going to explain why I say that.  About 3 years ago, my sister gave me a Christmas present that contained Psalm 45:11 "The King is enthralled by your beauty; honor Him, for He is your Lord."  I opened up that frame and I couldn't stop crying for almost 10 minutes.  It broke my heart, and the reason why is because I had been searching for years, through relationships, through circumstances, through events in my life- searching for who I was and how much I was worth.  I've been a Christian since I was 6, so it wasn't about not having been saved.  It was about not understanding what a walk, and relationship, with Jesus Christ means.

I have that framed bible verse in my room, still, 3 years later, and every day I look at it and re-read it.  What my sister started was the breaking and revitalizing of a life lived slightly off-kilter for just about 19 years.  I am a good kid, I was then- I've made a purity stand that I have kept for my entire life, so it isn't like I made terrible decisions.  But after I got that picture frame, I realized something: I was absolutely sick of being satisfied with my life.  I wanted more.  And you know what?  I went out and I got it.

I started by listening to the song "Beautiful" by Bethany Dillon, off of her self-titled "Bethany Dillon" cd.  If you have iTunes, go buy it.  It will be the best $0.99 you have ever spent.  Second, please please go buy "Do You Think I'm Beautiful" by Angela Thomas.  It was with this book, and the song written by Bethany Dillon after she read it, that helped to shake things up in my life.  I think that the book will show you exactly what God sees when he looks at you.  Those imperfections, those things we don't like- God loves.  It's written in a real, "Wow I really get this" kind of way, so there won't be an issues about it being over your head.  It is GREAT.

And last, I realized that a relationship with God is really easy, actually.  All you have to do is talk to him.  Some people call it praying, I think that's a formal word for it.  Prayer's nothing more than a conversation with God, so call it whatever you want- but try it.  When things are bad, most people will say they have said "if you're there, God, I just need"... and they'll fill in the blank.  So we both know you've done that.  But what about if you try praying when you don't need something?  What about if you've had a great day and you just want to share it? "Hey God, I got that contract I was really counting on at the last minute.  It's really great!  Just wanted to share."  It may sound crazy to you, but what's the difference between that and leaving a voicemail for a friend?  Eventually they call back, and when you build a walk with God, you'll feel him answer... no difference.  

Chat it up, and know one more thing:  Most relationships between a man and a woman are built on the man pursuing the woman... so let God pursue you.  You start the prayer, you indicate that you want to know Him- and he takes the rest out of your hands.  It's that easy.  Men love the wooing- whether or not they show that they do.  At least, the *right* ones do.  God's no difference (besides, who *created* that desire in men??) because he loves to do it too.  He sends you golden sunrises streaked with red, even with its own soundtrack of chirping birds for you to wake up to.  He sends you flowers every spring and summer- and even waters them for you!  He sends you warm breezes on summer nights to pick up your spirits, and beautiful foliage in the autumn that paints the mountains with its vivid colors.  He sends you sun to warm your skin and light your days, and the stars & moon to decorate the night.  All of this: because he loves you.

If he's doing all of this and you haven't really gotten to know him- can you IMAGINE what he'll do once you start to question who he is??

Just a heads up: it will totally change your life for the better!

I'm going to close by posing a question: When you look in the mirror... what do you see?  Other than the obvious (hair, two eyes, a nose, some small-ish ears...).  Truthfully, what do you see?  Some of us may see that scar from when we were kids that has blemished our chin for 20 + years.  Others may see the wrinkles as our eyes have squinted, in the same way, for our entire lives.  Some may see the nose bump, the chocolate freckles that dot our forehead... maybe the slightly crooked bottom teeth that twinkle when we smile.  Chances are, when you look into that reflective glass, you pick out your faults.

Aren't you glad that's not what Jesus does?

When he looks at you, he doesn't see faults.  He sees skin that has weathered many sunny days as we enjoyed beautiful parks, playing with children on a jungle gym.  He loves the way you have laugh lines beside your eyes- a direct result of laughing out loud more times than you could ever count.  His favorite is the way that nobody else has that little bump right under your eyes- and he knows how you got it because you were climbing a tree when you were younger and you accidentally slipped.

My point is that where you see bumps and scars, God sees beauty and possibility.  And while it's pretty easy for us to pick out our faults with our physical body- God cares a lot more about your spiritual body.  You know, the one that reacts when you have a bad day or an argument with someone... the one that responds to a broken heart or a hurtful glance.  And as women, at least to men, it seems as though this body is the one that we react out of most of the time.

I always joke that "as women, being emotional is our prerogative."  That's true, but not entirely.  God created us to be different.  And the best thing that we can do, knowing we were created as daughters of the King, Jesus Christ, is to embrace it and seek to know Him.  After all- he is definitely wanting to get to know Y-o-u!

Parting thought:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most.  We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?" Actually, who are you not to be?  You are a child of God.  Your playing small does not serve the world.  There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you.  We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.  It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us.   And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.  As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others - Maryanne Williamson

Talk soon.