noT noW.

Sometimes when I look at the majesty of the mountains, the sight alone can take my breath away.  There's something about the sloping peaks, the way the colors phase from blue to green to a deep brown, the way the air gets so thin and cool the higher you go - I don't know what exactly it is, but something about those sloping hills makes me revel in the awesomeness that Is Jesus Christ.

In my dad's house, we have a picture that has been passed down through several generations of the phrase "NoT NoW," the T is a cross and the W is a crown.  My sister and I always argue with my dad that it says "Not now," he tells us it's supposed to be "No cross, no crown," but to me, it's a clear statement from God telling me that it's about HIS time, not mine.

I've just today entered into a new season of my life where I'm getting back to the basics.  I love all of the people in my life, but I'm focusing on myself now and my relationship with God be the main one in my life.  I'm letting all other relationships fall to the side for awhile.  I'm taking time to be alone, to grow, to focus back on the core of who I am and who I've been created to become.  It's not easy.  Saying goodbye to things in my life that I care deeply for breaks my heart, but as that picture says, "Not now."  This time needs to be about me, about my God, and about His love, immeasurable and indescribable as it is.

When I look at the mountains and a shadow passes over them, like in the picture above, it reminds me that in this lifetime, things will happen where the light is blocked out and all we have are moments and spots of darkness.  It won't always stay black and difficult to navigate, but for the moment, you won't be able to see your way.  This is one of those times.  I'm having to totally trust on the capabilities of my heavenly father, that He will provide for me and that He will guide me.

That's why I said I'm going back to the basics.  In the bible, the disciples would often notice that Jesus would disappear for long hours at a time, totally unaccounted for and unable to locate.  He wouldn't tell them where He was going; He'd just go.  Finally, one day they realized that when He was leaving, He was going to meet with His father, to cry out, beseech, vent, and search for God.

We all need to do that sometimes.  Cry out.  Beg for His rescue.  Search for Him with all that we have.  And friends, as I share with you that on my journey I've done this so many times, I can also tell you that it has been SO worth it.  To see myself as God sees me would be the easiest way to sum up my heart's desire- and I can tell you one thing.  I can say without a doubt that Jesus Christ WILL reward your obedience.

Today, I take up my cross and I follow Him.  He's the only entity that will never lead us astray, only to the best thing for us will He take us.

Will you join me?

Parting thought:

You will seek Me, and you will find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart - Jeremiah 29:13.

Talk soon.